Board Exam Butterflies

One more sleep and it’s the day that all nursing graduates have been looking forward to. Tomorrow is the first day of The Philippine Nurse Licensure Exam. Well, knowing that its not my first time, I’m done with the so called “first time crisis”. But this time it’s kind of different. Maybe because I have been studying a lot; and It’s the first time that I’m actually doing my best for the exam. And like I said before, I want to pass this time.

I’ve got butterflies on my tummy. It’s not all bad because I can handle it unlike the first time. Yes I do get nervous if I really think about it but it’s nothing I couldn’t handle. I’m just relaxing myself and chillin’ in my room listening to pop music. What’s funny is when I went through my nursing uniforms for tomorrow because we are required to wear our uniform, all of them were quite huge for me already. I can’t believe I was that fat back then. Gosh! When I tried them on, I couldn’t figure out what to pick. So I picked one base on its color, not the size. LOL. I’ll be wearing my yellow top nursing uniform matched with white pants and white shoes. Isn’t that cute? I’ll just wear a sweater too to cover up how big the uniform is. LOL. I’ll look like a hanger if I don’t wear one.

I’m excited and a bit nervous but I’m not anxiuos. Well, at least not anymore or at least I know I’m not I guess. Anyway, so good luck to me. Good luck to all of us who will be taking the exam for two days. I’m praying that God will give me my license this time; if He thinks it’s the right time. Like I said, I’ve resolve and gave everything I have to God and I leave the results up to Him. I’m taking the exam for His glory, for His honor (Gosh I’m about to cry LOL) … Everything I do now is for the honor and glory of God! That’s the one thing that I didn’t have before because no matter what I do, I end up losing. I’m not all out expecting for God to do me the miracle of passing. If its His will, then it will be done! All I know is if I pass, I will praise Him, and if I don’t pass, I will still praise Him! I would still love Him and honor Him even in defeat because I know that everything I do is for His glory. So this is it! With God’s guidance, I know I can make it. I don’t know if I have prepared my field enough to receive the rain. Now it’s up to God.

XOXO     

ProofReading UPDATE: I’m good, she’s bad!

I thought my boss got me to do proofreading to let her figure out if I’m good at it or not. Well, I thought wrong. I was flattered to know that she made me proofread the articles her main writer wrote because she trust me with my english expertise. Whappak! “Haba ng hair ko dai!”

She told me that she was doubtful about her main writer’s writing skills because she finds them worse. Well, we have the same conclusion. It was bad! As what I’ve said in my previous post “How could articles like those even exist?” It was an honest review of mine when I said that. And now, knowing that the proofreading I did was to assess someones’ writing skills, the articles were really annoying; the worst articles I have ever encountered in my life so far.

I’m not saying that I myself is really good in writing or in english for that matter, but those were really bad. My 13 year old neice could even do better than her. Who’s her? Well, it’s my boss’ main writer. She’s so bad at writing. I’m sorry boss but you need to get yourself a new main writer. I have recommended Biboy to her. My boss calls her Lao. LOL. Funny! Anyway, Biboy is my long time neighbor and batchmate in high school. I think he can be good at the position. 

So that has been my ProofReading life for today! Like I always say to my Boss: Have a great day ahead of you! Cheers! LOL That’s manang Jing2x’s boss!

ProofReading

Today, i had the chance to do proofreading on 45 articles. My boss was confident enough to let me proofread some articles that are of low quality; in need for typo and grammar corrections. When she informed me about it last night, I was excited but anxious at the same time. I’ve never done proofreading before or not as a job so to speak. 

What is ProofReading? ProofReading is measuring an article’s relevance and competency in terms of its content. Content in a sense where you look into its grammar, sentence construction, use of words, word count, sensibility, impact, typographical set up, and its structure as a whole.

I really thought it was easy at first but being on the actual scene was a whole different story. Most of the articles I have proofread were really worst especially the grammar. Gosh! How can an article like those even exists?! Considering it’s my first time, I really did have a hard time. My boss told me that the articles are of low quality so don’t attempt to rewrite them, just do some corrections when you find typo and grammar errors. But what if the whole article is the error itself? I still couldn’t figure out the thin line between rewriting and correcting when the whole article is the error. But then again I was warned that the articles are of low quality.

Errrr! Confusing! Manang Jing2x! Help! LOL. 

I just hope I did it right. There were articles with less errors though; which I haven’t done much corrections to. Then now I’m all not excited anymore because I’m not satisfied with the outcome, to be honest. Now, I’m more anxious. If given a chance to do the ProofReading all over again, I’d do it!

XOXO 

LoveLife UPDATE: Possessiveness

Fuck! I’m overly possessive! I hate it! I hate being this way! I don’t know how to stop it! I’m acquisitive, avaricious, controlling, grabby, hoggish, selfish, grudging, skeptic AND SO MUCH MORE!!!!!!!!! Errrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I have never been this way to anyone before, not even to my ex-boyfriends! They were the ones who were this way to me! But now, it’s a totally different story! The tables are turned! For the love of God mj, when will you stop?!!!!!

I’m sorry for the way I am and I hate the way I am now! One small mistake he does, I flare up! It’s not even a mistake, it is my standards! Fuck my standarsd! Fuck my demands! There’s too much bullshit in them! Shit!

Forgive my words but I can’t help the way I’m feeling right now! I have so much hate for myself! I’m sorry God! I’m sorry Mine! I’m sorry! and I hate you mj! Damn you! Fuck you mj! Errrrrrrrrrrrr! Please Please Please change! And I guess I’m too much in love! that ain’t a bad thing, right? Too much love will kill me?

Fuck XOXO! 

ChuvaLife UPDATE: He’s Married!

Lalaine, one of my gay friends whom I really treasure considering the fact that I’ve known him since I was a kid, is married.

Who would have thought that an extremely out loud I’m Gay super model body Melanie Marquez kinda’ gay like Lalaine would get married to a woman whom I know he loves so dearly and happy to be with. They both have exchanged their vows before God last 21st of September 2009. I was invited but didn’t really have the chance because of my review and work at the same time. But nevertheless, my heartfelt congratulations and best wishes I offer them with prayers and support.

Anyway, Lalaine just arrived from manila today and suprisingly, he paid me a visit this afternoon. He told me what happened before and after his wedding. Not to mention, that our friend Achoo was the wedding planner, coordinator, madame all in one! Lalaine told me that there were instances that almost brought him to tears before the wedding day. Fires were started, but with Achoo’s power, it was turned off by sprinkling waters he has generated. And the rest is history. Kuyaw!

I too wants to be married someday. But to the man I love the most. Well, by now I think you know who he is. By that time, I’ll be wearing my long white elegant cleavage-showing wedding dress as I will walk down the Isle wearing O’ Mei’ Su on my face. Wouldn’t that be grand? Sigh!

But until then, I have to content myself with my long hair and pretty face. LOL.   

XOXO   

ChuvaLife UPDATE: Boy Toys

One of my gay friends paid me a visit last sunday night. He brought with him three young boys which he called his current “boy toys” for the night. I was extremely laughing to death knowing that two of the boys were 15 and the other one was like 17. My friend kept on mocking me asking why I don’t have boy toys anymore. Well, the answer is obvious, I do have a boyfriend now. Or should I say “I’m married!” LOL

Anyway, one of the boys was checking on me! I could’nt stand it! I have “been there done that” already. I don’t wanna’ go back to how I used to be. I admit that it came to a point in my life where young teen boys would literally wait for me outside our street hoping that it would be them I’d pick out for the night. The cheapest you could get in exchange for one boy is one stick of a cigarette. Not to mention that you could get some for free for being pretty! LOL! Gosh those were the days where my homosexuality hormones were at its peak. How could have I allowed those things to happen? and I would’nt even wanna’ go into details about it. I’d kill myself if I’m asked to do those things again.

Funny how my friend could still keep up considering how tiring it could be. LOL. But yeah it could be fun but the thing is, I have grown up! I’m not a kid anymore to have Boy Toys still. I have decided long before that I wanna’ get serious with my life and end all this crap. 

Well, my friend ended up being hit by the boys one at a time. I just could’nt stop laughing with that thought. It just cross my mind when we use to say “Next?!!” back in the days. Thank God I’ve changed.    

XOXO   

Hard Time Rewriting

I’m getting frustrated with my writing skills recently. I’m not satisfied at all with my work. I’m not contented on every article I have rewritten in terms of the words I use and the sentences I have constructed and how I present the whole idea of the article. Gosh I think I’m running out of words! Manang Jing2x Help Me!

It’s like I’m losing my niche. How could this be? Is it because the articles that have been given to me lately were too short like less than 300 words and I have to rewrite it to 400 words or more? To be honest I’d prefer rewriting articles that are too long like 800 words or more and break it down to 400 words max. I don’t know!

I’m scared that my boss would notice my unsatisfactory attitude towards my rewritten articles. Or maybe it’s just me. I don’t know! I hope tomorrow would be easy for me to do my job and I hope I’m still giving my boss the satisfying work I have been giving her the past week. Well, my boss does’nt have any idea that I’m not satisfied with my work. I hope it stays that way and hopefully I will be able to overcome this “hard time rewriting” that I’m currently suffering from.

XOXO 

LoveLife UPDATE: Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a very strong word where it requires true healing of the heart that once bled with so much blood from the wound opened through a stab of a knife; thus, when it’s completely healed with time, it is again ready to accept and embrace the one who have caused the heartache with no doubts and full reconcilation upon every person affected.

As deep and complex as it may sound, I still believe the one thing once a teacher of mine told me back in high school “Time Heals All Wounds.” 

Being with Dane feels like forever. It’s like I’ve known him for years. As happy as I may sound, just like a normal couple, we too have been through a lot of trials that have proved to ourselves that the Love we share is strong and even getting stronger as the days pass.

Considering the fact that Dane is straight, he have been weakened by some circumstances that have drawn him to endure his weaknesses. I was threatened and never came blunt to what i have discovered. I did what I could to save us from unwanted cost because of his actions. We came passed through everything that it brought us; all the hurt that caused me to endure with everything I have for him. I have given up so much for him that the thought of having so conquered my thoughts, my heart and my will to shed him the tears I have shed, that would make him realize how everything has brought me to the bridges of hell. I was wrong to deliver him the bridges. He has proven himself a million times that he is worth the forgiveness he seeks from me. I have forgiven him and I want him to know that my heart has healed though it is not yet complete, I want to tell him that Time has been on my side all along and eventually will give me the peace of mind I am praying for.

Aside from the love he has offered me, time and effort is what he showed me. And under his own efforts, I gave him less consideration. And I want to tell him I’m sorry. I want him to know that I can see that he is doing everything in his power to gain my trust that I have sellfishly denied him for. If only he could see how it hurts me evrytime he gets hurt. The last thing I want for him is getting hurt. It kills me seeing him hurt, and it burns my soul in hell knowing that I’m the one hurting him. I don’t want to hurt him anymore. I want to ask for his forgiveness and hopefully he will give me the forgiveness I seek. I have been too hard on him when in fact he does everything I tell him. What more can I ask for?

Time is the answer for everything. We both need time to heal from what we have been through lately. And we both have decided to heal with eachother, not away from eachother. We are slowly picking up the pieces and putting back each piece at its own proper place. I love him to death that I could never take my eyes off him not a second. And I know he loves me the way I love him and even more. I am trying my best not to look back and focus myself to the future we both have envisioned for us.

We are starting over. It came to me asking myself where to start and I have found my answer from a priest who once said “Look around you, and see the people who loves you, start from there …” I see him, and I know he loves me. Now I know where to start and what to do from here on, and I leave everything else up to God.

XOXO     

I want to Be Licensed and I want to have my Own Pad!

Things have been really rough for me lately. My Licensure exam for Nursing is coming up. It will be next week November 29 and 30. It isn’t my first time to take the exam but I want to pass this time. Though being a Nurse isn’t really my calling, I want to be licensed for it at the very least. I have been working online and studying at the same time. I have set my priorities and set aside all things that could get in the way with what I want. Believe me it’s not easy. But I am taking things one day at a time.

My stay with my parents have been long overdue. I believe it’s time for me to take my life to the next level; and that is living on my own. And that’s the reason why I’m working so hard as an Article Rewriter. I want to live on my own and see if I can do it. How would I know if I won’t try, right? I’m thinking of getting my own pad soon enough. With the salary I’m having from my work, I know it would be enough for me to go out and explore the world without anyone telling me what to do. I’m truly serious about saving up for it so it could become a reality.

God help me! I’m praying for everything. I’m literally getting down on my knees before Him for this. I’m getting tired being pushed by some people whom I value the most telling me I’m not good enough. They have always been right and I have always taken the challenges they have been throwing unto me in ways I could handle. But sometimes it brought me breaking down. The hurt I have been enduring all this time has overflowed in my veins that sometimes it wanted to leak out from my body. I know they’re right, but it just hurts me everytime. And the only way out is to live on my own.

The Pad I want is just around the corner considering the work I have right now. Time, patience and strength is all I need. The License? I’m resolving and giving up all I have to the Lord and I leave the results up to Him.

XOXO 

Affiliate Marketing: Interestingly Catchy for Me

I have been rewriting articles for my boss for more than a week now. My topic in general is about Affiliate Marketing. I had no idea what affiliate marketing is at first but when my boss showed me the process on how it works, it was a lot easier for me to rewrite.

As i understood, Affiliate Marketing is when you promote products through blogs, websites or social sites that is being offered by a merchant company. And when you have sales for the products you get a commission from the sales you have produced. As complicated as it may sound, Affiliate Marketing is actually easy to understand when the main idea is explained to you in details.

It came to me that the mother of all online marketing business is what they call “Internet Marketing”. Internet marketing is a very wide idea where it gives infinite oppurtunities to millions of people worldwide. You wouldn’t believe that there are actually several people who earn millions online. Pretty catchy huh!

This is what I’ve learned from being an Article Rewriter. I’m amazingly excruciatingly overwhelmed by the whole idea. It even made me to sign up for Google Adsense when I learned about it by rewriting articles about Pay Per Click stuff and so much more. I just hope Google would approve my application. I’m crossing my fingers on my toes! Whew!

Rewriting kept me thinking about what if i too would join the forces of Internet Marketing brigade; things like creating my own ebooks or selling digital products. But, until then, I have to content myself with the free education I get from rewriting. Who knows, i’ll be an Affiliate Marketer soon. LOL

XOXO

Article Rewriting

I have been making money online for two years now. It all started back when I started designing for an online game called “There”. But due to some circumtances I cant change, my designing world is not as much as productive as it used to.

It came to a point that I wanted to earn money online again as I used to. But going back to square one is not as easy as it seems. I thought of designing new stuff for “There” again but I thought it would take too much time and effort without any assurance that I could overpass my investment like i did before. Though I have created a name of my own in “There”, my confidence is not yet as boosted like back when I first started designing for “There”.

I have a couzin who is an online article writer. She has been convincing me to apply for a writing position online as well. Considering the fact that I want to earn more online, my mind switch to what she was suggesting from going back to designing for “There”. So then I posted my resume at va4u.com and bestjobs.ph with the hopes that someone would email me and offer me an online job in writing. Much to my surprised their were several of them who emailed me. They have been saking me if I’m still available and if I’m interested it would require me to send them sample articles I have written myself.

I have replied to most of them sending them my sample articles and some even asked for my resume. One employer did asked me to write an article for him about Physical Injury Claims with the keywords he provided. He happen to like my article when i got him to read it and asked me to write another one again about Car Accident Claim. I did what he asked me and send the article to him right after I finished it but to my dismay I never heard from him again. 

Luckily, another employer emailed me back asking me if I could go online on Yahoo Messenger and start my training. I was enthusiastic about it so I went online and agreed to have my training. She gave me details about the online job she is offering and I was convinced to do my best. While we were chatting, she sent me six articles to rewrite but told me to send the first one right after I finish it. While I was working on the first article, she kept on reminding me not to spend hours on one article. I managed to finish rewriting the article in exactly 45 minutes considering it was my fisrt time doing rewriting for a training to get the job. After she read my first rewritten article, she was surprised on how good I was in rewriting considering it was my first time. Ahem!

Right then and there she hired me. Raise the roof Yeah! With three days training she told me that I have improved a lot. I know I have improved too because everyday it gets quite easier for me to rewrite articles. I am required to rewrite six articles a day within eight hours mondays to fridays. Sounds hard at first but believe me anyone could actually do it. 

As what my boss always say “don’t reword, rewrite it in your own words retaining the main idea. Use simple conversational english as if you are talking to a friend.” I have always kept that in mind. Now I declare before you and God that I am an Official Article Rewriter working for an American Company.

XOXO

He brought me Flowers!

  It is the first time of my entire life that someone brought me flowers at my home. Some guys did gave me flowers before but never at home, it was just in school or somewhere else. I was surprised! When He arrived i never thought that he was hiding something at his back while we were walking on the street until we got inside the house and considering the fact that it was raining hard and i was the one holding the umbrella. When we were inside, he started laughing with a flushed face and i was like “what’s going on with you?” he wont move a muscle and then thats the time i started to think that he was hiding something at his back ’cause he wont move his hands. I started laughing and i could not stop ’til he covered my eyes and in just a second there it was, like every girls dream, he was holding them offering it to me looking into my eyes and said the words “i’m sorry, these are for you, my peace offering, i love you!” and he hugged me and we kissed. We had a little misunderstanding the night before so … it was just the sweetest thing ever. I bet my dad was surprised and my brothers as well.

Everyone was present at home for yesterday was a holiday, no school, no work. So he had lunch at home with my family and i could not believe that my brother Carlo was talking to him, it was just Heaven! and at this very moment ate Jing’s baby girl crossed my mind! and she knows why! i bet she’s laughing right now! Gotcha! anyway, going back, enough of segways, he left at around 6pm, he asked me to thank dad for him ’cause daddy was asleep. The best part aside from the flowers which were by the way Roses, one red, a pink and a white, was when dad was awake and he asked for Dane with a smiling face and he was looking at the flowers, i wonder what daddy might have been thinking while looking at them. “dalaga na jud akong anak!” possible, ehh? hahaha! joke! It was a great day, we thanked God for it. Not to mention that Dane had fun watching HOUSE and everytime something interesting comes up  he would just open my Medical-Surgical book and look it up and we would ask eachother questions. Well i was not far behind the scene for i was reading a reviewer book for nurses as well.    

MY MIRACLE!

I’m back! It has been a month since the last time i posted my first blog and my my other two which i have deleted for one reason and that is because i have changed. Need not do more explaining to that for you will know why in the long run. A lot has happened lately in my life which made me a better person and i call all of those things My Miracle. It all started at dawn of the 5th of september when i met the man who not only made me happier but also draw me closer to God. I was happy long before i met him but when he came, he put meaning to everything. Everything that i do now has a clear purpose, see the difference? I was living my life with a purpose ever since but now its clearer, not only i have dreams for the future, now i have visions for it, i could literally visualized what would it be like in the future for my life with him. We set our goals and our mission is to accomplished them.

Everything we do is far more beyond for ourselves, i have learned to set aside being self-centered and offer everything to  God. Now i know that what i do is for Him and for the good of others and i know God has a purpose. Life is much easier having God in ourlives, not that i did’nt have Him within me all these years, its just that now i am closer to Him. Lightest is neither wind nor feathers, but “Praying”. One time i talked to God, i told Him a sort of summary of what my life has been like before i met the man He entrusted to me, i told Him that there were times i thanked Him, i was sorry, i was happy and the one thing that strucked me of the summary was when i questioned Him a lot. The most common question of all time was “why me?”. Right then and there during my conversation with God i realized that all of my past molded me of who i am today, it made me stonger, made me wiser and made me the mj i am today. Then God answered me in His most Blessed way that i could not even imagine. I knew what God meant, i knew what He wants me to do. He was like saying that now i guess i am ready for the world, so He gave me Dane! Together we will spread God’s word in our own little ways, do good things and be happy. “Go forth and live by my will.” He said. Now everything i do i offer to God. I know it wont be easy as it seems but definitely i know it wont be hard, for i believe in God, i trust Him and that i know the road i am about to walk through has been made concrete by Him so it will be easy for us to walk by. Seek God first and His Kingdom and His righteousness and everything shall be added unto you. Now I put God first and i know everything else will follow. Now this is what i call a Miracle!     

WAKING UP WITH BREAKING NEWS!

Good Morning World! I woke up around 7:00 am with my mom babling on speaker phone talking to my dad about me taking pills. what pills? Hormones! My mom just read it on my facebook! what else can i do but deny the allegations and convince her that it was just a big joke that nothing i write on facebook should be taken seriously when almost all my post there comes with a “hahaha” or “hehehe” at the end of every post.

With what happenned, i came to a solution of not making facebook my 24-hour personal life news patrol. and so i decided to start blogging. Yes! this is my very first post! and it might be a hell lot of fun me blogging. i certainly do hope so. Wish me luck! Now it will be fun doing something for the day so i could have something to blog about at the end of the day!

Oh for starters, a chopper just passed by our house not too far to jump in from our roof! It was so near that i could hear the wind. i think it was our neighbor Roy who was flying it. He should have just landed, that would have been more exciting! oh-oh-oh! i hear it again, its coming back, i hope it lands!